names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
