So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
