...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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