My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize