I can tuck mytits in my pants
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
