Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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