I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Terrible idea I love it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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