you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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