we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
