I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
