Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
