Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
