I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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