Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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