Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
