He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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