porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
