I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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