haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
