And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
