and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
