Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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