he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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