hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
