im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize