You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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