is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
only if we run a train.
done.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
