I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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