if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
