I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
