As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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