In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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