So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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