my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
