i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize