the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i out mim tonsoeep
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