I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize