Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
