Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
