what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
