Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
