The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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