Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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