i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
