I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
