If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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