New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize