just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
