It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
