Whod you bang
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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