So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
