I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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