I'm jealous of your bromance
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Randomize
