just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
