I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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