Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
