i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
