I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
