Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
