I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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