I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
